


this is me trying

by shuri_is_my_queen



Series: Alex has Anxiety [2]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Alex Has Anxiety (Julie and The Phantoms), Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:53:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26890978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shuri_is_my_queen/pseuds/shuri_is_my_queen
Summary: Something triggers Alex, and the boys help him through a panic attack.
Relationships: Alex & Luke Patterson & Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex & Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex & Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms)
Series: Alex has Anxiety [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1961836
Comments: 2
Kudos: 289





	this is me trying

**Author's Note:**

> tw: panic attack
> 
> you don’t need to read the first part of the series, but it helps to understand some of Alex’s reactions

It started when he woke up. Alex felt jittery and if he had a heartbeat, it would be through the roof. _So it’s going to be one of those days._ He thought bitterly. 

Alex hated his bad anxiety days. He couldn’t stop moving and he couldn’t fully focus on anything. Too sudden noises made him jump and it’s like he’s on high alert all day. If he’s lucky, he can get through without a panic attack. 

*******

It’s fall break, and Julie is spending the day at Flynn’s. That won’t stop the boys from practicing though. Ray is at work and Carlos is at baseball practice, so the boys can be as loud as they want. 

Alex is lost in his own world. Suddenly Luke trips over a loose cord, and his hand hits one of the cymbals on Alex’s drum set as he crashes to the floor. Alex whips his head to where Luke is sprawled. His eyes are wide and his entire body is tense. 

Reggie starts cackling from where he watched it all go down. “L-Luke,” he has to gasp for air because he’s laughing too hard. “You should’ve seen the look on your face when you fell!” He starts laughing maniacally again. This time, Luke joining in as he stands up next to Reggie.

Alex, however is still sitting board straight behind his drums, trying to get his breathing under control. Luke and Reggie share a look. “Are you good, dude?” Luke asks carefully. 

Alex snaps his head to where the others are standing. “Y-yeah. I’m totally fine. Totally fine. Just got a little spooked is all.” He says this all very rapidly, blinking quickly as if to remember where he is. Alex gives the two what is very obviously a fake smile. 

Luke and Reggie look at each other again. Realization blooming on their features. It’s one of those days. 

As they continue to practice, Alex seems to get progressively worse. More spacey, more jumpy, always fiddling with his sticks. And when he’s not, he’s cracking his knuckles, twitching his fingers, shaking his hands, snapping his fingers, or scratching at whatever is closest on his body. When he talks, there’s a slight tremor to his voice. 

Near the end of practice, when Alex thinks he’s going to make it through the day, it happens. 

He’d spaced out, once again, and missed Luke giving out some instruction, so when Luke and Reggie suddenly start playing, Alex jumps. His eyes shut tight and his breathing starting to pick up. He feels like he’s choking. 

Without thinking, Luke claps his hands really loudly close to Alex’s face. “C’mon, man. Try to keep up.”

All composure Alex had previously was now gone. He scrambles away from Luke and settles in a corner far away from the other two. His heavy breathing turning into hyperventilating. Alex claws at his throat. Can’t breathe. 

_can’tbreathecan’tbreathecan’tbreathe_

*******

_He’s back in his childhood home. “Get out of my sight” “I didn’t raise no gay boy.”_  
  
*******

”I’m sorry!” Alex tries to call out. But nothing happens. He’s choking and clawing at his throat again. 

_can’tbreathecan’tbreathecan’tbreathe_

Alex tries to call out again. Someone help him. _Please._ But once again, nothing comes out. He moves his hands to his hair and starts pulling. Hard. Anything to ground him. To stop the choking. 

Reggie, pulled out of his stupor quicker that Luke, races over to the sobbing and hyperventilating boy. Gently setting his hand on Alex’s foot, which makes Alex flinch hard, Reggie softly starts talking. “Alex? Bud? It’s Reggie. It’s 2020 and we’re in the garage. No one is going to hurt you here.” 

Reggie repeats this mantra until it seems like Alex is more aware of where he is. “Can I get behind you, Alex?” The panicking boy shakily nods. 

Reggie maneuvers himself so that he’s comfortably behind the other boy. He carefully pries Alex’s hands away from his hair, holding them securely. 

Alex, still sobbing and hyperventilating, tries to talk again, for no words to come out. He feels like he’s choking again. 

_can’tbreathecan’tbreathecan’tbreathe_

This time, Luke crouches down by the other two. “Alex,” he starts, softly but firmly, “I need you to listen to me. You don’t have to talk. It’s okay. But I need you to breathe with me and Reggie okay?” Alex shakily nods again, his tears streaming steadily down his face. Reggie starts talking again, “Okay. With me, alright? In 2... 3... 4... Hold 2... 3... 4... Out 2... 3... 4...” 

They repeat this until Alex is able to breathe somewhat normally again.

”I’m so- I’m sorry.” Alex finally chokes out through the tears that are still falling. “You guys shouldn’t have to- have to put up with this.”

The other two exchange sympathetic looks. “Oh Alex,” Reggie starts. “We’re more than happy to help you through this.” Luke begins carding his fingers through Alex’s hair, “Yeah, man. We aren’t going to make you go through this alone. What kind of friends would that make us?” 

Alex gives a small smile. “Thank you guys. I don’t deserve you.” 

Reggie gets an idea, “Hey, I think it’s a good time for a movie night. Anyone have any ideas?” 

Luke grins. “How about Love, Simon?”

Alex nods. Yeah, his bad days suck, but he has the two best people in the world by his side. He’ll be alright. 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! please leave comments and kudos! <3
> 
> i don’t like this one as much, but i wanted to add one with the other guys


End file.
